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Knowing the history isn’t enough because nothing beats the experience of being there. Therefore going all the way to Siem Rep just to visit Angkor Wat and other ancient buildings is a surreal experience by it self and that nothing could be able to describe the amazing time that it was and still able to maintain through its timeless beauty that is historically religious: Hinduism. Incomparable in the beauty of its tales and its details that ornament every inch of every wall. Like how we are vibrant- so is this land but painted with more color and paint.

Passing through the moat and through the gateways of Angkor Wat make me feel inferior to the scale that is me compared to the span of history that this place has. A beauty that time will alway keep reminding past achievements for future dreams to be sparked.

Ta prohm temple. Being so old, and being so majestic could not be describe better than the vines that compliment it through time as it itself appreciate it’s wonders from it’s grip: A culture in history, in present and in future, simply a strong belief that goes deep.

Old palace of the Khmer empire, where the singularity of monarchy is nothing so diferent that any civilization, a compound of rules and strickness that has the people bowing at the sun.

Bayun temple. Smiling and shining from as far as you can see, attracting people all over whom are amazed by the sear grace that smiles at you. A wonder that it knows you are grateful to know of its history and its glory.

Tonle sap lake: like sooo huge!

and the boat ride was 30mins from the jetty to the floating village. Kids playing with snakes instead of dogs or Teddy bears. Poverty is something that seems so encrypted in their lives but somehow or rather this is the beauty, the beauty of not being able to. (The picture of me holding something in my hand and smiling with that guy: that is croc meat- it tasted like super duper tough chicken)

The journey back- skies shinny brightly, in my true faith it was gleaming with life and hope like the many Cambodians that were on the plane to KL, all hoping a better life and a chance to bring their dear family out of poverty.  Life is harsh and living is harder still, we all struggle but our struggle will bear fruit if you are able to hold on to it, just like the old Khmer empire, still rock strong and still amazing today. All you need is a will, and all will be as it is to be.

Guilt and pleasure, is something that cannot be apart. Making someone feel guilty for their pleasures gives pleasure to someone else. Therefore being cruel is pleasurable. Enforcing something on someone, gives harshness to a person but it gives pleasure to someone (enforcer) Look at religion: all of which does enforce a certain array of laws and beliefs which at most made people be what they are not, does this mean God is taking pleasure out of this? or the enforcers?

It is again, humans, humans and MAN made. Why do we create something such as religion to make our lives so complicated and so hateful. We are divided with this, we misunderstand, and we hate each other because  of this, why do we want to do this to our selves? and why do we say its Gods words where its not, it is undoubtedly the voice of the mind, our mind that tricks us.

I feel its primitive to think that this religion part is something that is of any good. It made people feel insulted and challenged, sometimes i wonder how people take pride over this, I pitty.

Sometimes, when you let other be, be as they wish and not want to usher them to join you in your community or the follower of God, is better. Let it be as you wouldn’t want them to convert you.

For all that is to be, shall be, and may it be, for all that is to be.

what i did today?

or over the pass few weeks. . . . hmmm

I have been wondering- today shaken- literally.

Honestly this has nothing more than the effect that has been going on about the cycle that goes around this world, and perhaps many more on the cycle that makes us more inclined towards our own being that has been blured with the fact that we cant believe anything else.

How i see this, we have nothing less and nothing more. I know so and i know little. Even so, its something i believe cant be to obvious or it has nothing more like a road that is on a hill. It goes up and it goes down, up hill- down hill and the center is about as unthinkable as it is on the bottom. So why?

Well its about the perception and the situation that we are always in.

I now know that by being such massive headache is something to do with the head. Knowing that the head is something big but it can also be small. It is nothing obvious because all of us have the or near similar heads, but the content inside, the one self inside is something that is soo profound.

I cannot deny the fact that we all are dependent to out side elements to be able to achieve or to believe a happening, where else the mind could well have convinced anything and everything if it wishes to. Not that it can be about just the eye, but its something to do with the heart that is the mind, it beats knowledge and it beats the life, and because of this our very on conscience.

Today i have been shaken, i have been confident and i have felt proud. Today i know that its just something that is in the head. I now know that we are just beings. With the insecurities that makes us be, is something that can’t be any less than an animal. We are living in the minds and influence of others. Money, luck, prosperity and perhaps the unsightly reasoning of tradition is the one that that colors our life- it is also a curse that will remain you to where and who you are until your dying bone and beyond.

I am afraid, and i am shaken, but it was nothing. Being just the fault i simply paid… i knew money come and money goes. Today it went and it cant be anymore relieved to know that its something to do with money and that money is the root that keeps us going. We are little. We are miniature.

For all i see, little things, secrets bring people together. I see that the shaken thought and the loss of money to unfortunate events and perhaps unfortunate circumstances is something so ob-seen, it however brings people together in ways that were never thought to be even possible.

I will miss life, but for all i can do now is just be a being that just freezes and slowly defrost from this infinite dimension that is the mind.